It rained the day that they took her away
As the sirens danced through the space in between the raindrops and cityscape
and the distance between us felt so far away.
She said I can’t love this town but I don’t hate it either
its just my apathy grows from the architecture
and the town where I grew up doesn’t want me either so I feel so alone.
Don’t be fooled, things don’t last forever
no matter who tells you otherwise, bad things will happen to you.
Even loved ones will die on Christmas day
and all their good memories will just fade away
her face you recall only vaguely without a photo to prompt anyway
Like the cracks in her lips where the red wine would sit
The jokes she would tell you would never quite get
She said she would explain when you were 16
but by the morning she’d forget.
Sometimes I only see her weakness’s
walking low lit streets alone in British Winters
Its been so long, I forget how truly dark it gets
without gin to keep your heart warm
But I have been blessed by enough sunlight
to bleach out the shame of so many past nights
I attempted to rid of myself and the black hole that I felt
She always said grey days were the hardest to live through.
I’ve starting writing some new songs recently. It feels like its been a while since I wrote anything new, even though that’s not the case. More so, it feels like a long time since I wrote a song I liked.
I like writing sad songs. Songs I can stuff too many words into, played over limited chords and get out what I seldom talk about in conversation. I find conversation difficult. So I stand on a stage for 20 minutes and bare all and I find relief.
This week I filmed the start of a new song before I left for work on Thursday so I could watch it back and see if I liked it.I like where it is going, so I sent it in an email, then I ended up putting it on YouTube.
You don’t look like the last time you smiled at me; The last time you told me you were happy, the last time you to me not to worry.
I keep trying to write something worthwhile and introductory but I’m not sure what I want this blog to be yet.
Until then, expect half written song lyrics.
She pulls her hoodie on, it’s followed by the slamming of that door
Her converse sink into the carpet of the lobby floor.
She mouths ‘I don’t need him, not no more’
His black heart, these black eyes should have never been mine to sport.
As she puts her headphones in,
Musical ghosts of her past sing,
Guitars regale a broken past as the kick drum pounds like her sunken heart.
Singing ‘I am stronger than I was but I’m not sure if it’s enough,
Although the storm on me on over there is so much to clean up.
I though I’d been liberated once, but it was puppy love
Now it’s gone, it won’t return
And what I’m left with; it hurts.
When we first met, we made a pact and said best friends,
With grass stains on our knees you said that you’d protect me
But that must’ve been boyhood bravery because you’re a coward and a thief
You see I don’t smile no more,
You took that from me.